Broken Signals

When do you know that a traffic light is broken?

There I was, early this morning, sitting third car back from the intersection waiting for the red light to change. We were on the secondary street, in the snow, at that time of day when traffic light intervals tend to generously favor the primary streets. So it was not unusual for the light to be long. And so it was. Very long. Long enough for daydreams to come and go. Long enough for me to start wondering, if I were the first car in line, would I make a move? Long enough for several cars behind me to swing out and run the light.

But just as the third or fourth car broke through, the cross street light changed to yellow, and soon we had our green. So, it wasn't broken after all. Just delayed. Not even delayed - for it was in sync with its own computerized schedule, just out of sync with ours. It just disappointed our anticipated timetable. So we judged it, all of us impatiently; some of us wrongly.

All of which made me wonder, how do we know when other parts of our lives are no longer working? How can we distinguish between our impatience, our unreasonably hurried timetable responding to life's unpredictable unfolding, and life's true brokenness?

Who is responsible, after all, for setting the timing of life's signals? Who has the right to demand that life unfold in prescribed intervals, acceptable to them? How do we learn to match our rhythm with those around us? How do families, neighbors, nations negotiate their differing paces, urgencies, insecurities?

It is somewhat irresistible to insist that all signals follow a standard, established, timed sequence. It is irresistible to hope that we know for certain when a relationship is done; when our job has run its course; when we should seek another path, another way, another lover. But life doesn't work that way.

So we come back to our initial question: how do we know when something is broken? How do we know that it's time to move, that we've waited too long, or moved too soon? And what happens if we are wrong?

The bottom line is, we cannot always know. Sometimes those around us are the first to see the truth. We can listen to them. But then again, they may be the ones who cannot wait out the green.

Sometimes it doesn't matter if the light is working or not. It may still be taking way too long for us, and we must, for our own sake if not also for that of others, move on.

Then there are other times when we can manage the uncertainty. For the good thing about people, as opposed to traffic lights, is that people can talk, and we can speak with them. And maybe, just maybe, an answer will emerge. But even if not, a bit of adventure, a bit of breaking out of line and challenging the status quo is sometimes just what we, and society, needs. Lord knows, our economy and response to the environment need something radically new.

So, there is mystery in wholeness that appears broken. But then again, there is occasional need to indulge our impatience.

May this coming year bring you insights into these mysteries, guidance in your response to life's signals, and true satisfaction in your life's work.